I’ve said it a million times, but I’ll say it once again; there is a 99% chance that I will end up alone. I know that it’s a grim thing to say, but I’m just being realistic. Maybe I am childish, or maybe I am too old-fashioned; either way – I can’t keep up with anyone. I do not understand these games that you’re supposed to play. All these rules, while all I want to do is wear my heart on my sleeve, be bold and allow myself to fall into that big gaping hole of beautiful uncertainty. Instead I should be following this set of rules. The rules that were designed to successfully trap your “crush” or “significant other” or whatever you may call it into a relationship. Today’s meaning of hooking up mostly means that you have played your cards right, you haven’t scared them off too early.
Take the three-days rule for example, my friends tell me that I should wait three whole days before texting someone and even when you text, it should be measured, not too excited, not too many emoticons or exclamation marks or even capital letters. I have never been particularly good at hiding my feelings and when I feel that someone could actually potentially be important to me I don’t want to be following a bunch of rules. I want to discard all rules. I don’t want to play games.
Isn’t there a saying, “lucky in cards, unlucky in love.” I think love should never involve any form of games, for it is the most serious of matters. I have no fear of loosing a game, however, loosing my heart is the scariest thing. Perhaps someday I will find that one person that avoids all game-playing too. Or perhaps I will be forever surrounded by players. If so, I will refer to my earlier statement and rather be forever alone, like a ravished chess piece.
Stay golden my little ponyboys and stay strong my fellow awkward-turtles out there,
Yours truly, Maple.
A Thousand Awkward Moments 